So your man finally registered for those community college classes you’ve been mothering him about and now you have to live up to your end of the deal by making your tushy all-access. Yet, the thought of leaving something yucky behind has you handing out blow jobs like candy and sleeping in your jeans.
WE’VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU!
You’re not alone, girl. Poop is gross! In fact, I can hardly even bring myself to type the word. But if you think you’ve got even a chance of snagging that ring, it’s necessary for you to be true to your womanly words and take one for the team. However, anal sex isn’t like regular, enjoyable sex. You’ll want to read up before you bend over. That’s what EnemasForAnalSex.com is here for: To give you all the information you need to have a clean anal sex experience when the time comes for him to cash in on what he’s owed.
WHY USE ENEMAS FOR ANAL SEX?
Technically speaking, enemas are used for anal sex in order to clean excrement (“poop”) out of your colon, bowel and anus (“bum”). Allow us to explain…Do you know the feeling you get when you are having sex but you don’t feel your cleanest? Now imagine having anal sex and feeling the same way–the possibility for embarrassment and self-consciousness are much greater. And although humiliation is most definitely an essential element of anal sex, there are other ways to be debased besides p@@p (gross). In order to engage in anal sex without constantly worrying about inner secrets becoming outer messes, many women have found it helpful to use an enema prior to engaging in anal play.
TOLERABLE ANAL SEX IN 3 EASY STEPS
Here at EnemasForAnalSex.com, we developed a 3-step system that you can follow to make your anal sex experience as tolerable as possible. Set aside 3 days prior to “the night” to give yourself 3 enemas and you will surly save on embarrassment, save on trauma, and save on a big fat dry-cleaning bill for your Pottery Barn duvet.
Step 1: Clear Out (3 days before doing anal)
Step 2: Clean Up (2 days before letting him do anal)
Step 3: Calm Down (the day he finally shuts up about anal)
DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS?
Yes. We’ve tried wheeling and dealing. We’ve tried putting it off until the boyfriends finish their classes. We’ve even offered them enormous sheet cakes in lieu of anal sex, but the boyfriends don’t bite. If you don’t do it, he’ll never shut up. Just give him what he wants and then use it against him in the future (ideally when discussing marriage).